Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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