Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
