my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
