on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we made out on top of his cat.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
