Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
