and next time when you feel me up, do it right
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
