i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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