It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
