you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We are two peas in an std pod
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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