I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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