He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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