At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
