i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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