so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
