Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(786): View more from Florida

Thats something to write home to mom about

(305): View more from Florida

Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Houston.. we have a drinking problem..

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.

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(206): View more from Washington

And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high

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(971): View more from Oregon

Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard

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(805): View more from California

YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.

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(251): View more from Alabama

I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.

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