Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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