I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
