I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
