You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
