I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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