i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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