Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
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Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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