Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
