Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
