I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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