This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
