is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Randomize
