I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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