ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
