how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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