STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
