I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
