Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
