he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
