Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
