Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!