i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
