Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
