: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
