dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
