I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
