Do you still have your period?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
