is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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