we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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