what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
