out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
