my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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