I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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