you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
