Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
