You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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