i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
