she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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