we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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