I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
