They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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