you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
