using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
