oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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