I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
