No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you had me at cake vodka
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize