You're completely useless in the revolution.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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