You don't have asthma, your pregnant
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
