Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
