Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
