I wish I could teleport
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
